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warlor

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Subject: Dating after divorce Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:24:01

I have been divorced for almost a year and a half now. Have been thinking about getting back into the dating scene but not sure. How long should one wait before getting into a new relationship? I know that there cannot be a “prescribed” limit but I don’t want to jump into it and regret it later. As for being ready for it, honestly, I am not sure. I want to date because it does feel very lonely sometimes. However, I am scared because I haven’t dated in such a long time. I don’t know if I will end up making a fool of myself. Has anyone else experienced the same thing? Maybe I feel this way because my wife was the one who initiated the divorce.

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hopeofray

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:24:29

When to start dating after divorce can be a tricky subject. You are right in mentioning that there is no prescribed time limit. The fact is, many people do not know for sure that they are ready to start dating again. A divorced friend of mine did not feel completely comfortable with the idea until 3 years after her divorce whereas one of the people in my office started dating just a month after her divorce. Whatever you decide to do, be sure that you have resolved your emotional issues related to divorce. It is important to be happy about yourself and accept who you are as a person. Do you know what you want out of your new relationship now? While feeling lonely from time to time is normal, it is important to make yourself emotionally self-sufficient so that your motivations of starting to date again are right. If you start dating because you feel the need to rely on someone emotionally or just because of being with someone, if and when that someone goes, you will end up feeling miserable again. This is an important juncture in your life. Therefore, think about what you want very carefully

morgag

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:24:01

From personal experience, the only way to know if you are ready is to try it. But take it easy in the beginning. (initially i found it better to better to look for friendship than intermit encounters.. ) I was married for 10 years and had been separated for 6 months before i took the plunge. I figured that 6 months was long enough.. Try a dating site to begin with.. There are some good ones and I found that chatting/email/talking to other people was actually much better in the very beginning. The first couple of dates were nerve racking to say the least, but i got there in the end.
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