Telephone
Helpline
Discussions
& Chats
Case
Histories
Available
Downloads

You are not logged in.

Facebook Twitter Google Digg Reddit LinkedIn Pinterest StumbleUpon Email

In order to post messages to this discussion board click here to login/register

Back

Home Register

Mary Alice

Joined:
Posts:
Location:

Message

Subject: New to this Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:25:09

Thanks for that.. will certainly give it a try. I did , sort of, in the early days. I started one of those \"Good Things that have happened today\" books. Only problem was that I kept running out of stuff to write! Maybe I just need to put down all the bad stuff. That should keep me busier! I think the main thing I am learning at the moment is that it is going to be impossible for me to move straight from wife to Best Friend, as my husband expects. I need to distance myself from him both emotionally and physically, which is very hard, as he has been my \"significant other\" for a total of 37 years. Watching his new relationship develop and become public is heart breaking

Replies

Ess

Joined:
Posts:
Location:


Message

Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:39:57

Hi Mary Alice You sound very strong and I get the feeling that you\'re being strong because you feel that if you\'re not, you might just not be able to cope. It is ok and actually healthy to not cope when something like this has happened. I\'m sure that your husbands solicitor means well with his comments. In my own situation, I coped very well for others eyes but cried alone with no support because no one else knew how I felt. I think it\'s important that you are amicable with your husband - even though your sons are older, a nasty divorce will affect them, but at some point whether it\'s now or years on, you have to acknowledge how you feel about this and express it somewhere. Don\'t be afraid to ask someone you trust for help or for them just to hear you rant and rave - if this is difficult, talk to a counsellor. At some point, you have to face the nasties - it\'s better sooner than later I can assure you. Good luck and I\'m sorry you\'ve found yourself here.

Mary Alice

Joined:
Posts:
Location:


Message

Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:25:09

Thank you Ess it\'s very strange to receive words of comfort from someone unknown. But it does make me feel less alone. You are right. \"Playing\" at being strong has helped me so far, and also I think helped those around me who want to feel that they are supporting me. Maybe I just need to let go for a little while, even if just on my own.

Ess

Joined:
Posts:
Location:


Message

Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:39:57

I agree with you the playing strong is a way of surviving the early days - you manage to convince yourself and everyone around you. The thing is, most of us have to go through a grieving process and there comes a point when you do need to let it out. It sounds like you\'ve done amazingly well to get involved in new interests and with friends. It shows great strength of character and I really admire you, but it doesn\'t mean you have to be strong all the time. A practical suggestion - start writing a journal - fears, hopes, thoughts, feelings good and bad. It\'s amazing how much you can open up and learn about yourself :)

Mary Alice

Joined:
Posts:
Location:


Message

Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:25:09

Thanks for that.. will certainly give it a try. I did , sort of, in the early days. I started one of those \"Good Things that have happened today\" books. Only problem was that I kept running out of stuff to write! Maybe I just need to put down all the bad stuff. That should keep me busier! I think the main thing I am learning at the moment is that it is going to be impossible for me to move straight from wife to Best Friend, as my husband expects. I need to distance myself from him both emotionally and physically, which is very hard, as he has been my \"significant other\" for a total of 37 years. Watching his new relationship develop and become public is heart breaking
You need to login / register to post a reply.