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rashadjee

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Subject: Lying Husband Posted: Monday, December 30, 2013 - 15:39:20

I married my husband in the year 1999 in Pakistan under Shariah Law. He came to the UK in 2000. We bought a house together in 2001 for £25000. We have 1 child aged 6. He earns £15K and I earn £8K. The house is now worth £80K. He has walked out on me and is asking for 50% share of the house. Can anyone advise me of my rights and where I stand with the house. The house was bought in joint names with my deposit. Outstanding mortgage is now £18000. He has filed for divorce: reason given was adultry. This has never happened as he is telling lies. Can I sue him for lying. Will I get any financial help from him in paing the mortgage and looking after my child. Thanks Ansar

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EnglishRose

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Posted: Monday, December 30, 2013 - 15:39:34

It makes no difference to what money you get or how things go if he puts down adultery but you can defend his petition and counterclaim back on your own divorce petition on him if you want to - use \"unreasonable behaviour\". Both of you earn hardly antyihng so it is not likely to he will be having to pay you very much income now because if you add in child tax credits and benefits your £8k will be about the same as his income but if teh child stays withyou (and no reason in English law a mother gets a child any more than a father - he might want to be at home with the child and you leave although that\'s not likely), he must pay 15% of his net after tax earnings to you for the child. You can do that through the child support agency (CSA) if he does not pay antying now. Work out the amount and ask him to start paying. If he earns more than you and you stay in the house he may have to pay you some money for yourself too although that is not so certain as the money for the child. The strarting point is 50% each but as you need a place to house the child and the house is not worth very much you can probably stay until the child is 18 and then sell and give him his share or pay him when you remarry. or may be you find better paid work and remortgage the house to let out some of the equity to pay him as I did on my divorce. You pay get free legal help go to a lawyer who does \"legal aid\" and they may even be able to get you some emergency money from your husband - interim maintenance.

sometimesitdoesn'twork

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Posted: Thursday, December 5, 2013 - 13:03:30

Was the marriage registered legally?

flip flop

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:27:51

Im shocked by the comments posted by captain oates above. I hope you are able to rise above those and keep asking for advice. Most people on this board seem kind and caring and helpful. Abuse like that should not be tolerated.

obiwankenobi

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:34:41

oates- shut up mate- right now... you are breaking the law... this is a public board. dont forget what i do for a living.

flip flop

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:27:51

it may have taken that person a lot of courage to post on this board and they do not deserve the abuse someone like you feels it is their right to dish out. racism breeds contempt . No one has the right to judge any one else, regardless of their race colour religion country of birth or residence. we are all people,mostly with feelings.

noidea

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:34:29

Lovely, I\'ll judge you then CO - bog standard BNP apologist, semi literate ranter.

obiwankenobi

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:34:41

its not my profession- its the law... nick griffin is a nazi- a book burning, goose stepping nazi... vote for him - be my guest- it will be the last vote you ever get... you have a right to talk- yes- and i have an obligation to lock you up too... people like you should be in prison- i dont agree with some of the things people do to exploit this country- however, with the fantastic freedom we have here- comes the responsibilty to behave yourself... you clearly have an issue with this- fine- just keep your nazi thoughts to yourself.

Simes 2p

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:36:18

CO, you twat. No wonder racism is alive and kicking with pillocks like you. OB, did you mean to say \'Don\'t forget what I do for a living?\' Blimey. Rash, I typed out a \'proper\' response but then noticed that ER had already said what I was saying, so ignore the mindless tossers and look after yourself and your daughter. I would say that ER is slightly wrong that defending the divorce is not worth doing. Biggest waste of time ever, so let it go through as it is, and he will find that he needs proof of any alleged adultery. Once he has crashed, then you do your own using unreasonable behaviour. if you get legal aid, I think you will find that they don\'t assist with defending divorces anyway.

Captain Oates

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:31:47

It\'s not me being the Nazi here. It\'s you, you are the one threatening to lock people up who disagree with you. Police in this country prosecuting people for what they think (like they did the asian girl who worked in WHSmiths Heathrow) is bang out of order and not far from being Nazi, this Government being politically correct is thought policing. I am not going to slag off Nick Griffen, he has rights to expression just as Abu Hanza does, and I do. I do behave myself, and I do have a right to complain about imigrants bringing in more poor imigrants bringing in more poor imigrants, especially when, in 100 years they look like they will still be doing the same, still failing Norman Tebbit\'s famous Cricket test, among many others. I am arguing for them to integrate. Would be nice to see an asian face at my football club or mountaineering club, or squash club. Bored with this now, you lot have nothing to say.

obiwankenobi

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:34:41

i wont arrest you for disagreeing- i would arrest you for inciting racial hatred... not quite the same thing... nazi me? sorry- who posted the racist abuse? look mate- shut up while you can... just go away- noone is interested in your rants- if you want to use that kind of language- off to the bnp site- not \'\'friendly support\' type sites... complaining about immigrants is one thing- what you said is another- i think an appology is in order... so- by your def- my kids should be in Poland now eh? fine- you see in Poland we have had some experience of nazis...

silky

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:27:52

Silly me, I thought she just wanted a divorce according to UK law (not sharia) without letting her husband lie his arse off and blacken her name? If you don\'t like name calling maybe you shouldn\'t have called her a bi*ch. Racial hatred = what the Welsh feel about you lot on rugby days....

Suvla1915

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:28:15

Oh, heaven forbid that anyone should bring religion into marriage! Let\'s just keep it a legal contract because all that \'til we death we do part is a load of nonsense. In fact, why not do away with marriage altogether, it only brings misery and despair to those fool enough to make a bad choice. And as for marrying foreigners, well I married an English man and that was my first mistake, should have stayed in my own country!

Suvla1915

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:28:15

?

silky

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:27:52

Whatever the reason, it was her choice. She posted about advice for divorce and you are way out of line. Be a man and apologise to her.

silky

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:27:52

So? Some people put looks, money, status etc before anything else in their choices of a spouse. It is not down to you to judge people on that, whatever their background. Rashadjee asked for advice not condemnation. I didn\'t see the apology or aren\'t you man enough?

noidea

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:34:29

Leaving the muddle and ignorance of your views aside CO, your posts put this unmoderated site at risk of closure. If someone complains, Paul may well be considered liable and be faced with the choice of employing mods or closing the site down. Well done.

obiwankenobi

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:34:41

as i said- its illegal... say sorry- or face the consequences.

Captain Oates

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:31:47

Shant.

obiwankenobi

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:34:41

ok. show yourself for what you are... bnp? they are nazis... simple, plain, no question. you sympathize with them? are you seriously saying you do? bored? what is it with you? are you drunk or something? i hope someone does complain... you think i couldnt find you oates? are you playing a challenge game? i warn you- dont... these are criminal matters - think carefully...

obiwankenobi

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:34:41

not your police- the crowns... dont underestimate us either...

EnglishRose

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:33:37

As well all know if he was just interested in Sharia law he\'d tell he was divorcing her three times but clearly he\'s wanting a UK recognised legal divorce too. I suppose as someone else said above you need to check whether the marriage in Pakistan is recognised here (but presumably it would be). Don\'t move out and don\'t agree to putting the house up for sale and try to get legal aid via a local lawyer who can then advise you.

noidea

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:34:29

ER, it depends whether the marriage was registered here, hence STIDWs question.

BFS

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:39:35

CO, if you don\'t think these statements are not conducive to inciding racial hatred, then you are even thicker and more ignorant than you come across. You have brought this wa*ker into the country and given him a passport, thanks for that - u b*tch. And if you have any respect for this country, which I doubt, you dont agree to adultery because it looks good in islam. You lot don\'t ingegrate well. If you want to discuss politics then fuck off to a politics board and spout your racist diatribe. I\'m sure there will be plenty of people who can explain in simple terms the need for immigrants in this country. You might even find that people like you are the blocker to intigration for some. It\'s like me saying I\'ll only marry a white Protestant. Or you saying you\'ll only marry a welsh catholic (hypothetical example). Believe it or not, there are (dare I use the term?) \"British\" people who do indeed think like this. IMO they are morons like you too Oatsie.

obiwankenobi

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:34:41

what is a nazi? google ? lol...bfs put it so well...

Simes 2p

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:36:18

Go on then PC Obi. He has incited racial hatred. He is a nazi. (Apparently) You have threatened to arrest him if he doesn\'t apologise and still he carries on. Go on, arrest him. You say you can find him, and if he doesn\'t say sorry he will have to face the consequences. This will be interesting now.

BFS

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:39:35

Mmm, I was wondering how that would pan out as well Simes.

BFS

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:39:35

And whilst I\'m on my high horse... Both of you earn hardly antyihng and the house is not worth very much ER You have such a way with words sometimes! Maybe it\'s just me, but I\'d be a tad insulted. I\'m sure you don\'t mean it, but the attitude you have to money makes you sounds really up yourself sometimes. I know you get to the point, but please try and be just a wee bit more sensitive to us poor paupers, if only occasionally.

BFS

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:39:35

I think perhaps a 1 in 1 out system for non EU immigration. Actually Oatsie, you\'ve had a great idea there. You go first.

Simes 2p

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:36:18

But the EU covers half the world now. They let anyone in if they are poor and need some cash. How did Malta get in? Or half of Russia? Its all a mystery to me. Look out for Guatamala joining next. Or Guatamano bay. I think PC OB is speeding as we speak with his blue light flashing towards the last known location of Captain Oates. The North Pole. (He did mention Poles didn\'t he?) PC OB, I think the only place that it is illegal to be a Nazi is Germany, oh and Austria too. Maybe he is hiding there. Get Interpol onto him. Do you have proof that he actually joined the Nazi Party, otherwise you may end up with egg on your face. Again. CO, when you do get arrested, as the long arm of the law is on its way, can you call me with your one phone call so that I can let the others know they gotcha. Oscar bravo, how far have you go now? Have you tracked him down yet? This is like watching the Sweeny.

BFS

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:39:35

What your back Simes. If he can get CO, he\'ll get you too. You know how the Old Bill (hey, that works too) operates.

BFS

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:39:35

Even watch you back. Doh!

BFS

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:39:35

Christ! (Can I really say that without causing offence?) your back!! It\'s early. And.........in my defense your honour, I have finally found another of ER\'s rantings to be correct. I\'m on a full time clean up of vomit and shit. I take it all back. She was right. That explains why I\'m tired and have fingers like coo\'s tits. (It is my son\'s...........not the wife\'s in case anyone is confused!)

silky

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:27:52

Starting to get worried about my feelings on match days..........

ray_of_sunshine

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:39:37

Didnt Oates die on the way back from the SOUTH pole?

Simes 2p

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:36:18

Just had a call from Oatsie. He is on the run. Silky, you have a good excuse for what you said. You\'re Welsh. If Oscar Bravo arrests you he has to give you the caution in Welsh, so you are quite safe. Does dim rhaid i chi ddweud dim byd. Ond gall niweidio eich amddiffyniad os na fyddwch chiín sŰn, wrth gael eich holi, am rywbeth y byddwch chiín dibynnu arno nes ymlaen yn y Llys. Gall unrhyw beth yr ydych yn ei ddweud gael ei roi fel tystiolaeth. Silks, did I recall that correctly?

Simes 2p

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:36:18

Ray, Don\'t confuse him more than he is already. Lawrence ĎTitusí Oates was a member of Captain Robert Falcon Scottís doomed Terra Nova expedition to the South Pole in 1910. Having raced to the Pole only to discover they had been beaten by a Norwegian expedition lead by Roald Amundsen, the team of five men attempted to return to their base camp. The return journey was dogged by bad weather and the men made poor progress. Oatesí frostbite was so bad that he could scarcely walk and had to slit his sleeping bag almost to the base in order to fit his swollen feet in. He was well aware that his tortuous pace was slowing his companions. On March 17 1912 (his 32nd birthday) he uttered his famous words and disappeared into a blizzard, sacrificing his life for his friends. Though his sleeping bag was found in the snow, his body was never recovered. So it could be a bit like Lord Lucan. He could be anywhere. North, South, Grantham?

silky

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:27:52

No idea Simes, I being a good girl and all that ;-) CO isn\'t dead. It was a theory. He went out and never came back - I reckon he\'s shacked up with some little eskimo tribe eating fish pie and drinking whale juice. Hope Obi has his thermals on....

Simes 2p

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:36:18

Silks, Funnily enough my research last week on something led me to the Home Office website and the proposed changes to PACE. As I know a guy who does Welsh translation for the Welsh Assembly I probably noticed it more than I usually would have done. It all looks Dutch to me. Whale Juice? How do they get that then? CO is still alive. He is at Newport Pagnell services trying to hitch a lift. he is wearing a long raincoat and a false moustache, just incase Oscar Bravo is putting out an all points alert.

noidea

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:34:29

...he\'s still fine tuning his sledge and oiling his huskies I\'m afraid, Silky

silky

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:27:52

It\'s not dutch Simes, it\'s just designed to confuse you lot - ain\'t hard eh? Noidea........you\'ve put me right off my breakfast with the image of CO oiling huskies................eeeewwwww....

flip flop

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:27:51

Im so glad to see that im not the only one that feels what captain oates said was out of order. He should be ashamed of himself for name calling that lady. Icant see apologies forthcoming though, I felt like apologising on behalf of us. But what is sad is that her questions seem to have been lost in the melee of ensuing arguments. by the way, im welsh. so i leave myself open to name calling......... lol

BFS

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:39:35

Why only matchdays Silky? In the sporting sense at least, there are some feelings it\'s perfectly acceptable to feel all year round.

BFS

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:39:35

As someone said further up, let\'s hope she\'s not put off. At least she can see we have a sense of humour..............if not a lot else!

silky

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:27:52

Flip flop, there are certain threads that can\'t be revived and this is one of them! Let\'s hope Rashadjee reposts and this time we\'ll leap in before it gets ruined eh? She does have some advice under the rantings. Don\'t worry about being called names, they\'ll have to answer to me too......where you from? BFS, it ain\'t only matchdays......I was behaving! :-)

flip flop

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:27:51

I know, shes had some good advice, ! I never worry about being called names, you get used to it ,sheep etc im from swansea..

silky

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:27:52

Am just across the water from ya - over the Loughor bridge! (Did you notice the only people who suggest sheep shaggin are the Saes???)

Kat007

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:29:05

Rashadjee, I am so sorry your thread was hijacked and would hope that the rantings of CO does not put you off asking for advice in the future there are some wonderful people on here who in the past 8mths have helped a guided me through a tough time with compassion and understanding I hope you stay. I also hope that you and your daughter are well today and looking after yourself is vitally important right now so you can be strong for your child. Please do and see a solicitor for a free half or hour consultation try and be prepared with a list of questions you would like answered immediatley and hopefully your head will be a little clearer without the rubbish spouted off by a certain person. I wish you luck and please keep posting to let us know how you get on and any advice you may require or for just a chat honey. My love to you both K x

flip flop

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:27:51

thats close !! havent been to loughor in years,had an uncle there once !! the difference is that we can laugh like drains with the engl about ourselves and their clever jokes about sheep but have you ever seen a saes who can take the piss out of themselves, and my god werent they touchy the year we won the grand slam. I live in engl now and b*****r me it was so good to be a welshie then. iIjest of course, lest i cause offence to all the english out there, its actually quite good fun to have the piss taken , because we really dont care,

flip flop

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:27:51

what a lovely post from kat, hear hear.

BFS

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:39:35

Our sheep are better than yours! Nah nah na na nah

flip flop

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:27:51

ooooooooooooo thats sooooooooooo funnnneeeeeeeee

silky

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:27:52

How many rams have you checked out recently BFS?

BFS

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:39:35

I only did it once. Honest! My god....you shag one sheep........

BFS

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:39:35

CO That\'s the ranting of someone who gets his information from the tabloids. Got anything original? No-one (esp the original poster) has advocated promoting the UK as an Islamic state. Got some serious pre conceived ideas there Oatsie. Have you seen a shrink about those? Of course, you seem to be in a majority of one so far in your opinion. That would explain why we\'re all off our heads then. Aye, right! Twat! As Silky says, not even man enough to apologise.

silky

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:27:52

And I\'m sure you\'ll find CO that it wasn\'t top soil, it was sheep shit.

flip flop

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:27:51

sheep shit. ............lol. lol still laughing at that one. I think this guy is best ignored, hes lost the plot.

BFS

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:39:35

So if I moved my family to Pakistan then, would I be promoting it as an Athiest/Christian state then? Does it not work that way? They do have churches there by the way. Not many. Some though.

BFS

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:39:35

Your ignorance doesn\'t actually insult Islam CO. Your insult was personal and uncalled for. I hope your balls go square and fester at the corners.

Simes 2p

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:36:18

I think I must have missed her promoting the UK as an Islamic State. If you get half a chance Oatsie while running, can you point out where she said that. Oh, and the bit about \'She married an extremist who now wants to divorce according to sharia law rather than the law of the land\' I thought that they were getting divorced under english (and welsh) law. Or have I missed the point completely?

silky

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:27:52

I said that way above Simes. He only sees what he wants. As I recall BFS, it was the toes that festered first?

BFS

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:39:35

They don\'t really teach you to think on your feet at these BNP rally\'s Simes.

BFS

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:39:35

So I\'m obviously not the only one sleep walking then?

BFS

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:39:35

You got that from her post did you? Ever thought of creative writing as a career change? You\'ve got the imagination for it.

BFS

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:39:35

I notice you\'re being very selective in the questions you actually answer CO. Is there a reason for that?

silky

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:27:52

WTF??????? She only posted once CO, then you scared her off with your mental bully boy rantings. Your posts make no sense and you are hostile. If you wanna have a go with someone who can defend themselves, then step up to the challenge. There are plenty of us here who are not emotionally vulnerable. If you can\'t play nicely or with the big boys, then don\'t bloody well play at all.

BFS

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:39:35

When in a hole..........stop digging.

Captain Oates

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:31:47

I think I\'m off, and taking my ball with me. You are not being fair.

BFS

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:39:35

I think he\'s having fun with this Silky. I can\'t believe anyone can be so ignorant. Probably thinks he\'s got us hook, line and sinker and is having a wee chuckle to himself. Probably chuffed he scared off a wee Pakistani girl too. Maybe he needs Obi\'s Porsche. (See anotehr thread)

BFS

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:39:35

I think he\'s having fun with this Silky. I can\'t believe anyone can be so ignorant. Probably thinks he\'s got us hook, line and sinker and is having a wee chuckle to himself. Probably chuffed he scared off a wee Pakistani girl too. Maybe he needs Obi\'s Porsche. (See anotehr thread)

Simes 2p

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:36:18

Oatsie, she is probably at the Police Station having her statement taken by Nick Nick Oscar Bravo. Either that, or she thought your purile racist comments weren\'t really going to help her much. What I can\'t believe actually, is CO\'s comments, but also Mr Important PC Oscar Bravo, \'Watch your step sonny or I will arrest you\' - \'\'I won\'t warn you again\' - \'Don\'t you know who I am?\' - \'Right thats it, you are in real trouble now\' Two idiots, although I am quite happy to be number three if it suits you.

BFS

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:39:35

I spotted that too, but didn\'t comment for fear of upsetting Obi again. I did have a chuckle though.

BFS

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:39:35

I spotted that too, but didn\'t comment for fear of upsetting Obi again. I did have a chuckle though.

silky

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:27:52

Maybe CO is hoping Obi will get the furry cuffs out..........

Kat007

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:29:05

obi can\'t have them back i need them lol. That\'s for another thread anyone care to start one? CO. I am hoping I can appeal to your better nature as I am sure you have one. It would be really nice now if you could possibly stand up be a real man and appologise to rashdajee for your unecessary comments at the begining of this thread. She came here for help and advice from us all not for you to hurl abuse at her. I has saddened me to think that this poor women has been upset even more than she already was. Divorce is hard enough for most of us and to have this thrown at her too is totally wrong. Yes you are intitled to your beliefs and opinion but not on this board, there are many other forums you can take the issues you feel strongly about too this really is not the place and I am asking you in a nice manner to please discontinue this thread for the sake of this poor women health and well being at what is an awful time in her life. I will not beg you but I am asking as a fellow human being to please have atleast some compassion for her feelings. Thank you for reading this Kx

silky

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:27:52

CO, are you trying to tell us you didn\'t *know* what a Nazi was? YOU are deeply offended? I didn\'t see the original poster slating you or your beliefs? WE are ALL deeply offended by your comments. You owe us all an apology. Stop your childish schoolboy attempt to wriggle out of this and take the consequences of your actions.

Bookmartpa

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:28:16

Nazi is just a shortened version of NSDAP....Nationlistische Sozialistische Deutsche Arbeits Partei. National Socialist German Workers Party. The Western Allies realised that they could use NAZI as a more convenience abbreviation which sounds \'darker\'....and they were right and it\'s stuck. To use Nazi in any context in todays world is just totally wrong as the party it directly refers to now simply does not exist. Neither Captain Oates nor Nick Griffin are \'Nazi\'s\'.....just racists....and there are lots of racists who are not Nazis and who, whilst harboring a racist opinion on something, wouldn\'t do any harm unto the people they are criticising.

silky

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:27:52

However Bm, the point is he has done harm by speaking out inappropriately. Who knows if the poster is upset? Maybe she doesn\'t give a damn about his rantings or she\'s heard it all before. I though take offence at his misuse of this board. Whilst living on the wrong side of the bridge I took daily batterings about being Welsh and it pissed me off. There is no need for any of it and if people learned to just shut up when they couldn\'t make any constructive comments I think the world might just be a happier place.

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:28:16

He hasn\'t done harm. If the poster is upset then....wow I got upset once when someone called me a fat cunt.....but I wasn\'t done any \'harm\'... Anyone who feels they will come to \'harm\' by being poked at on an internet chat board should NOT be visiting internet chat boards....IMHO. I agree by the way....CO....what a brilliant rant...totally over the top and out of order....but then there are others who have not covered themselves in glory by responding with such whacky comments ..... \"you know what I do....I\'ll have you arrested....\" WTF lol Basically I believe in free speech for all, in any forum.....and don\'t think anyone should be censored....or else one creates exactly what one is looking to prevent

silky

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:27:52

So you agree it\'s ok to piss over anyone\'s thread? You think on a SUPPORT site it\'s ok to just go off on one? Ignore the basic request for advice about divorce??? Sounds very much like a bloke who has his answers now doesn\'t give a shit about anyone coming along the path later...........you lot destroy any hope of there being considerate sane men out there. Think I\'ll hang my dating days up now.

BFS

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:39:35

Nae luck Silky. Mrs BFS got in before you. I was possibly the last one! BM You can\'t compare what CO called rashadjee and someone calling you a fat cunt. They are poles apart. Whilst I\'d hazard a guess that you carry an extra pound or two, there is a massive leap to the abuse he directed at rashadjee. In the current climate, can you imagine how some Muslims feel victimised regardless of how liberal their views are on things? They are not all backpack assassins. It\'s probably not very clever to refer to someone as a fatty either, but last time I checked, two wrongs still didn\'t make a right. Aside from that, I\'ve got no problem with freedom of speech. Everyone does have their opinion, and should rightly be allowed to express it, even twats like Griffen. Thankfully most rational people can see through him. That said, Silky is spot on. Oatsie. Still ducking and diving the hard ones and making light of the fact you\'re as sharp as the thumb end of a tack?

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:28:16

No I don\'t.... In fact that\'s CO\'s biggest (only?) crime on this thread... My argument was only a response to a) the people questioning what \'NAZI\' actually means and b) whether CO should be shot for racism (wellll arrested). But of course you\'re right....he\'s no right ambushing a thread with a request for help. I would say....sorry EnglishRose....and I\'m sure you\'re a lovely English Rose to.....but ER has pissed over many a thread with rantings about working mothers and such and such.

silky

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:27:52

I\'m a bit confused here. Bm, are you saying that if this had been a discussion thread, it would have been ok for CO to call the poster a bitch because she didn\'t marry someone HE approved of? Are you saying verbal abuse is ok? His only crime is being misplaced? I think we have all highjacked threads in the past in one way or another, it\'s how they work, digress into other areas etc. ER makes some very valid points also. I\'m worn out with this and beginning to doubt which way is up..... BFS, damn you. I\'m not interested anyway. I\'m single and staying that way :-)

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:28:16

Silky I\'m saying verbal abuse is ok yes and if someone feels like they need to tell someone something which is unpalatable then go ahead...say it don\'t think it then at least the receiver has the chance to respond and explain themselves/argue their side.... I mean what\'s CO going to do now? Apologise...for saying something he clearly meant at the time.....the apology serves what purpose? Does it take back time? Change his real feelings? Or just something to appease those who feel he shouldn\'t have said what he said? What\'s done is done....I suspect CO wishes he hadn\'t had said what he said...but is he sorry....I would suspect absolutely not and rightly so. But perhaps I\'m just lucky because I\'ve always been able to smile and rise above any verbal abuse (usually !) which I\'ve been subjected to....it\'s the physical stuff which has always gotten to me lol The only thing I really objected to in the post was calling someone he didn\'t know a bitch....but then it\'s done....he clearly feels strongly enough to say she was...and explained why he thought that.....so such is life. And I also didn\'t like him using the word Paki....but then I\'ve heard it used on international cricket. At the end of the day we have freedom of speech....end of as far as I\'m concerned....and we are a self moderating nation of people as the responses on this message thread has surely proven.....and as would explain why Nick Griffin despite his right to free speech will never get in power... The lady OP came onboard....put her message across.....CO responded.....the rest of the board beat CO up about his original comment.....that\'s EXACTLY how a democratic society with freedom of speech SHOULD work IMHO

BFS

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:39:35

Pretty much spot on, and hard to argue with Bm. That said, I\'m not disputing CO\'s right to his opinion, but I\'d like to think that people know how and where to spout their opinion and he got it wrong. For the personal insult he should well have been sorry. It\'s all about he time and the place I suppose. He got both wrong. Given the nature of this board, and the fact that many of the regular users have built up \"online\" relationships (for want of a better term), I think the rest of us are embarrassed by what he said and how he said it. Funny enough, I\'ve never had a problem with the word Paki...........if Scot is short for Scotsman, then why can\'t Paki be short for Pakistani? Of course, we all know when it\'s intended as an insult and when it\'s not.

silky

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:27:52

I suspect you are lucky Bm if you have been able to rise above such abuse. I disagree with verbal abuse being ok. People when they visit message boards asking for help aren\'t always computer literate and don\'t always understand how messageboards work, let alone are prepared for the kind of reception this poster got. I know this to be fact as I was once in that position myself. Verbal abuse can also lead onto other forms of abuse such as emotional. I think maybe I get angered as quickly as CO but hopefully don\'t target my anger to those who are vulnerable. Much as he has a \'right\' to say what he wants, he must acknowledge that with rights comes responsibility. If he doesn\'t then he can expect ten bells of shit to be knocked out of him as above. I am attending a very difficult funeral tomorrow and would love to speak my real thoughts and feelings there but I won\'t because I know my responsiblities and I have respect for other people. Something some of us don\'t possess - the ability to feel other people\'s pain. CO only seems able to consider himself. I get your points though and almost (not 100% though cos I is a woman :-))) ) agree with you. Maybe I\'m just happier in my own little world where everyone is happy.......and they play nice :-)

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:27:52

BFS, I too wondered about the shortening of the word. I get called Taff (when peeps are being polite!!). Suppose it depends on the context. Everyone will take offence at something or other but usually there are obvious limits that nobody crosses.

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:28:16

And I agree with you Silky.... But genuinely I see the little rant by CO as no different than the absolutely inevitable gobshite who WILL be at the funeral you\'re about to attend and WILL NOT be able to keep his or her big gob shut. Paki is offensive though...terrible word IMHO....it\'s NOT short for Pakistani (although it should be and would obviously not be offensive if it were)....it\'s short for dirty, smelly, disgusting, fiddling, crooked, illigal immigrant, tax-dodging, taking British jobs, Pakistani....if you get my drift. Should it be banned or censored.....of course not.

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:28:16

Agree Taff.... Taff is kind of cute....can\'t see any real negative connotations about it. Mates of mine call me porky....or chubbs.....or Phil Jupitus....or Cracker.....all pretty funny nicknames IMHO.... If someone calls me fat c**t then it means....fat, smelly, lazy, eats to much, doesn\'t exercise, lardy arsed, fatso......I don\'t smell !! haha

silky

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:27:52

I hope the inevitable gobshite isn\'t there tomorrow or I don\'t hang around long enough to meet them otherwise this cute little Taff is gonna turn into a raging dragon. It\'s my ex husband\'s funeral Bm so not one that\'s gonna be pleasant in anyone\'s standards...I feel a swift left hook coming up if I have to defend myself. People will always call each other names and go for obvious \'flaws\' - it\'s if we see the traits they mock as being flaws that hurts us. I\'m fine with being taken the piss out of for being Welsh cos I\'m proud to be Welsh. Be proud of those lbs hun, and smell nice! ;-)

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:39:35

Silky If you have cause to throw a left, be sure and follow it up wit ha right and then anotehr left too. Just to be sure. Seriously, I hope it goes ........without incident I guess is all I can think to say.

silky

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:27:52

Thanks BFS x. Btw, us Taff girls can throw proper punches - one punch, no need for any follow up! Roll on Wednesday.....

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:39:35

For the record, I am the son of a Muslim immigrant to these shores, and grew up with all the stick that comes with that. Perhaps that\'s why he got under my skin. She could speak English, it is her first language and she has been gainfully employed for the whole 39 years she has been here. I hope that\'s ok. She still gets abused verbally at work, but then up here she is in a much smaller minority than some areas of England. Oh, and she married, divorced and then remarried under British law too.

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Posted: Thursday, December 5, 2013 - 13:03:30

BFS, I get verbally abused regularly coz I\'m a Sassenach. Did you hear Sanjeev Kohli\'s Ode to a Samosa? \"Wee sleekit, cowrin\' triangular tastie, oh what a picnic is in thy pastry.\"

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:39:35

Quite right too Stidy! I missed that, but he is a really funny bloke, as is his brother. The verbal abuse doesn\'t bother me. It did when I was a kid. It bothers me that my mother still gets it from neds in the street, or patients at work. I still get a fair bit of stick at work too, but in the sense Bm was talking about. You know when it\'s out of order because of the context. The whole race/religion thing just pisses me off. You\'ll know up here the issue is more Poles/Eastern Europeans. I work with guys who have a similar attitude to CO. I find it ignorant. It\'s kind of like grouping men and woman as a whole on here. Just doesn\'t work. There are good and bad men, good and bad women, good and bad Muslims, Pakistani\'s, Poles or whatever. Generic labeling winds me up......... And relax!

silky

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:27:52

Ye, but that\'s justified Stids!.............(for CO - that was a JOKE!) I presume most is in banter, though I agree it can get very daunting. I used to have problems with asserting myself over staff on my shifts because I wasn\'t Saes and also due to age and being female (this was in the days prior to divorce when I looked youthful!) BFS, no need to justify yourself or your mum. If people are unhappy with so many immigrants living in the UK, maybe they should move abroad. Or shut up, now that would be a novel idea....think I may just try that one now!

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:34:41

so simes- you feel ok to have a knock at me but not CO who actually did the recist abuse in the first place... interesting... i guess you are the type that thinks they can do better than people like me? put on a uniform then... i don t remember saying i would arrest anyone? there needs to be a complaint first... in writing... oh and now CO it was all a big joke? mmm.. =, havent heard that one before... sorry didnt post earlier- working... what is it with you simes? a bit anti-police? why do police insist on saying coppers are thick? i have a degree- speak two languages- English and Polish 10 o levels- an onc in business studies- various computer quals... why is this suddenly about me? all i did was stand up for someone that - in case you havent noticed- CO/Simes- has not posted anything else... i wonder why? Perhaps she was a little shocked at the responce she got...

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:34:41

as was i...

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:36:18

Oscar Bravo, I think we went through this before. I am not anti police at all. I love the police, and would welcome them having a lot more authority and money. I think you will find I have called CO a twat several times, because he is, but you are a prick for what you said. 1 - dont forget what i do for a living. 2 - you have a right to talk- yes- and i have an obligation to lock you up too... 3 - i wont arrest you for disagreeing- i would arrest you for inciting racial hatred... 4 - you think i couldnt find you oates? 5 - are you playing a challenge game? i warn you- dont... these are criminal matters - think carefully... 6 - not your police- the crowns... dont underestimate us either... Its all a bit playground really. And worthy of taking the piss, me feels. As for me thinking I could do your job better than you. Thats what you said last time you felt I was knocking the police. I don\'t think I could bear the thought of being a policeman. Crap job under crap conditions and hated by most people. They deserve better.

Simes 2p

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:36:18

Oscar, while we are at it, since when do you need a complaint before you can arrest someone? Inciting racial hatred is surely an indictable offence, which you can arrest at your pleasure. As could any citizen? Either I am wrong, or you need to go and read your manual again. (have a check on blackmail too while you are there as you were a bit confused about that last time too)

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:34:41

just for info- i have sent an email to the adminstrator of the site that hosts ondivorce.co.uk i have asked for the above conversation to be retained for evidential purposes and for information regarding the ip addresses of those committing offences. if necessary, i will continue this enquiry on a formal level. racial abuse- in any form will not be tollerated. i advise you to stop posting, while you still can.

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:29:05

I am so glad that this is now over boys and girls, and I would like as I am sure you all would wish Silky a good luck and hope all is Ok tomoz. I am sure that everyone will behave at such a sad occassion. Again that would not be the time or place for anger to resurface especially as I am sure the children will be present to say a very emotional goodbye to their father. I hope you will be ok and will be thinking of you and your children tomorrow my love. Hugs for you all K xxx

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:34:41

i think simes- it is you that needs to check the manual... i am getting a bit fed up of this now... you are wrong- an incident needs to be percieved as racist and reported- unless the officer witnesses it his/herself.

Kat007

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:29:05

Ok I was wrong. Obi Simes really must we continue the debate over this. I am sure the poor women who started this thread is totally confused now. Can\'t you two kiss and make up or atleast stop so that rashdajee can atleast respond to any thoughts or even god forbid(not bring religion in her just a phrase) ask for advice on her current situation. Please.

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:36:18

Obi, go for it. I think you perceived what CO said as being racist. (Officer witnessing it himself I think) And you called him a Nazi too. Should all be very interesting. If I could just backtrack slightly on a previous post. When I said being a policeman was a crap job, I didn\'t mean that. I think it is a very worthwhile and honourable job, but the crap conditions is still the big off putter for me.

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:39:37

Well I have kept out of this so far but I seriously hope you havent done that obi ........ Is everyone that posts here in future to live in fear that PC obi will come knocking on their front door because they have posted something that you feel is against the law? Keep it in perspective huh ......

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:39:37

\'what happens in fight club stays in fight club\'

obiwankenobi

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:34:41

it bothers me that this thread was allowed to continue so long- kat... is there any moderator? there dont appear to be a link or any way to alert a mod... i had to contact the actual hosting company itself. anyway... simes- i gave this bloke enough chances to shut up - its what we do EVERY day... if police arrested everyone that committed a crime - we would need another 1000 prisons... its not playground- i am genuinely trying to stop this bloke from getting into trouble- it might be too late, of course... would you rather i just started an official enquiry? i suppose then i would be the \'nasty copper that didnt give anyone a chance\' or do nothing? \'the lazy copper that does nothing\' you are damned if you do - and damned if you dont...

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:34:41

ray- i can put up with abuse- i can close my eyes to a lot of stuff- but not out and out lawbreaking.. i have contacted the host- why wouldnt i? i have asked very kindly - for this bloke to shut up - he didnt... quite the opposite- he went for it more- i have never made it a secret what i do for a living- indeed- i have provided some good sensible advise based on my side of the fance - so to speak... if people choose to ignore me- thats ok- no worries... but not in this area- its a no no... what kind of place is this where racist abuse goes unchallenged? simes- calling someone a nazi- is not a criminal offence... i have committed no crime- he has...

Simes 2p

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:36:18

Obi, if you want to make yourself a laughing stock, send your mail to paul@ondivorce. He will probably delete the post and put it in an evidence bag for you. I think you have already shown what type of person you are. Official enquiry or whatever, the job is done. As Ray says, get some perspective.

Simes 2p

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:36:18

Oscar bravo, Public Order Act, Section 5 5 Harassment, alarm or distress (1) A person is guilty of an offence if heó (a) uses threatening, abusive or insulting words or behaviour, or disorderly behaviour, or (b) displays any writing, sign or other visible representation which is threatening, abusive or insulting, within the hearing or sight of a person likely to be caused harassment, alarm or distress thereby. (2) An offence under this section may be committed in a public or a private place, except that no offence is committed where the words or behaviour are used, or the writing, sign or other visible representation is displayed, by a person inside a dwelling and the other person is also inside that or another dwelling. (3) It is a defence for the accused to proveó (a) that he had no reason to believe that there was any person within hearing or sight who was likely to be caused harassment, alarm or distress, or (b) that he was inside a dwelling and had no reason to believe that the words or behaviour used, or the writing, sign or other visible representation displayed, would be heard or seen by a person outside that or any other dwelling, or (c) that his conduct was reasonable. I think CO could be insulted by you calling him a Nazi, in fact he expressed his view that he was insulted by several things said about him, and he was posting from work, not at home. As I say, this is going to be interesting.

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:34:41

nice try- has to be in a public place- no power of arrest without a warning being given. also- i am in a dwelling so- no offences there- dont know what you do for a living simes- but i would stick to it if i were you... also- i sent the email- to the actual host as they are the ones that are liable... you know- flatearth... wasnt difficult to find... but i did say that my job is working with sex offenders- they often use website to groom- how do you think we find them? look- my arugment isnt with you- its with CO... why are you insisting on this course of action against me? something to prove? cant imagine why...

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:36:18

Oscar, Para (2) (Public or private) I think I am just highly amused that you are being Mr Policeman telling people what they can and can\'t post, and then reporting things when you don\'t like it. It is all quite amusing watching you make a fool of yourself.

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:39:37

Will you be happy if the host now decides to pull this site because of potential legal liabilities? Arse .....

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:34:41

also- simes- have i ever called you a \'prick\' ? but you feel justified in calling me one? why? why are you turning this around to me? wasnt it CO that caused the issues? why are you so angry with me? i dont accept that you dont have an issue with the police- you clearly do. i dont mind- yuo can do what you like- say what you like- but dont you think that that freedom comes with a responsibilty to behave? not call people racist names- or insulting ones like you do/did...

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:39:37

I read a quote from a lawyer on a message board recently .... \"The police dont know the law, which is bad enough in itself, but the real problem is that the police dont know that they dont know the law .....\"

silky

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:27:52

errrm, if he mails you then isn\'t that still online?

noidea

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:34:29

Ok, if it spreads the liability here..I emailed the site admin last night. Not to complain about the postings - I think CO has had a sufficient and heartening response from other posters to his rantings. But I was concerned that Paul might be considered liable if the posts were allowed to stand, and he at least deserved to be notified - the last thing any of us want is for the site to have to be closed down if he thinks there\'s a risk of prosecution? It has happened, especially when administrators can\'t afford to employ mods.

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:29:05

Hey Guy\'s, I do think this is enough now really, Please stop the anger and bad mouthing I would and I am sure others too would like to know if rashdajee is ok and if she would like to actually post here again for some help and advice in what is a distressing enough matter without having anymore hassle please please stop. thank you k x

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:36:18

Oscar, If I was close enough, I would whack CO round the head and never speak to him again. I doubt that I would call the authorities in. As I am not close enough I will ignore him. he is a right twat. You though, should know better, and behave better. Not doing as you have done. I thought that Police Officers had to be above reproach. My dad was a policeman, and I have always thought very highly of it as a profession, and had I not joined the army I would like to think that I would have been a dog handler, just as he was. On reflection, i am glad I didn\'t because i think I would have been too tempted to use a bit of 70\'s heavy handedness with criminals, and lost my job. I think most of them need a damn good kicking following arrest. I used to like helping him train police dogs on school holidays, and watch them foaming at the mouth and snarling at me while I hid in a cupboard for them to seek me out. (The dogs, not the policemen). If there is one thing I would never tempt my luck with, its a police dog handler. So, I am full of admiration for the police, but not the idiots who say with their own self importance: 1 - dont forget what i do for a living. 2 - you have a right to talk- yes- and i have an obligation to lock you up too... 3 - i wont arrest you for disagreeing- i would arrest you for inciting racial hatred... 4 - you think i couldnt find you oates? 5 - are you playing a challenge game? i warn you- dont... these are criminal matters - think carefully... 6 - not your police- the crowns... dont underestimate us either... Anyhoo, I think this is all past its best now, if not now, certainly a good few hours ago, so i will pop off and have my tea, and if I hear sirens I can only hope its on the Bill, and not outside my front door. Adios ps Ray, careful what you say, he is a policeman.

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:34:41

ray- get angry at the right people... CO ... he posted the abuse- it may have been noticed anyway... how is his post my resp? simes- can you read? (2) An offence under this section may be committed in a public or a private place, except that ***no offence is committed **** where the words or behaviour are used, or the writing, sign or other visible representation is displayed, by a person *** inside a dwelling and the other person is also inside that or another dwelling.*** i was talking about police powers- as i said- i have committed no offences i can be arrested for under the Public (clue\'s in the title) act... CO- immigration ? no worries- i will talk to the cows come home on anything you fancy to do with immigration- not racist abuse... thats not the same thing... its not a taboo subject- nor is police accountability. what is a taboo subject is you calling poeple paki and bitch... and generalising about a race of people- as you did- now- am i alone in this thinking? i dont think so- judging by what was posted direct after your diatribe. i was, trying unsucessfully, to stop you committing further offences. it would seem that you- and simes- would have it not so - i leave you there... i will be sure to post any responses i get from the hosts...!

Simes 2p

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:36:18

One last thing, Kat, don\'t get a job as a dinner lady. You couldn\'t break up a fight in a playground with pretty pleases. Love & Hugs.

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:36:18

Oh, one more, because I just read your post again Kat, if Paul would like to put me in contact with rashdajee, or visa versa, I will happily make sure that she gets some advise and support. And I will even make a global apology to her for the idiots on here, including me. Thats me done.

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:27:52

Time to chill guys............bit of Pakistani rock as requested by CO........ http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=MIYPt3ubBrE

ray_of_sunshine

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:39:37

My fav youtube song ...... http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=brRsRTTp1Pw&feature=related

silky

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:27:52

Mellow Ray :-) Have to admit though, still prefer the Eva Cassidy version. You might have seen these, but they make me laugh so I thought I\'d share them - BFS will like em! *Warning* Language may offend so only liberated ADULTS please (CO, you\'ll have to ask your parents!) http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=BlIbQQgiK48&feature=related

obiwankenobi

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:34:41

CO- please tell me why you are addressing this to me and me alone? i am only one of many that reacted negatively to your post. also- being aggressive and abusive is not the way to \'encourage\' debate. chill? not angry at all... oh and thanks for the email address. you can see what you actually think of your behaviour by the way you are talking to me... simes- i repeat my question- why are you having a go at me? those points you posted what i said- are warnings for CO to shut up- before he got himself into trouble- as it happens- from thepost above i wasnt the only one that complained ... so - if you read them in that context - still feel like judging me? why would the police be looking for you? i still cant see what i did wrong!!! as i say- CO was/is out of order. simple. plain.

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:27:51

I am sitting here having followed this thread most of the day and am frankly amazed at the easy disdainful way that some have forgotten the real reason this lady posted in the first place. I originally thought that co was just winding everybody up, but now there is so much testosterone flying around you cant see the wood for the trees for little boys throwing their toys out of the cots. its noticably (apart from a couple)the girls who are actually empathising with this lady. ffs grow up. Ifanyone called your sister/mother/auntie/daughter a bitch you would be the first to be upset/ kat, I think your posts are lovely. silky, from what I gather, tomo is a hard day for you. pob lwc cariad. this should stop now.

flip flop

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:27:51

I am sitting here having followed this thread most of the day and am frankly amazed at the easy disdainful way that some have forgotten the real reason this lady posted in the first place. I originally thought that co was just winding everybody up, but now there is so much testosterone flying around you cant see the wood for the trees for little boys throwing their toys out of the cots. its noticably (apart from a couple)the girls who are actually empathising with this lady. ffs grow up. Ifanyone called your sister/mother/auntie/daughter a bitch you would be the first to be upset/ kat, I think your posts are lovely. silky, from what I gather, tomo is a hard day for you. pob lwc cariad. this should stop now.

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:27:03

Many people who have responded to my cries for help have disapointed me. There seems to be elements of XENAPHOBIA. All that I asked for was for some help and advise and all that i got was abuse. May I point out to you all that I am a WHITE BRITISH NATIONAL FEMALE and that I married A WHITE BRITISH NATIONAL MALE. Our marriage took place in Pakistan because he works for the BRITISH ARMY. We are not the so called \'Pakis.\' I am deeply offended that people on this forum are not educated and lack great knowledge. I am not racist as many of my friends are asian too. Its because of people on this forum that WE the BRITISH have to put up with. And let me point out that \'foreigners\' contribute a massive 100billion per year to the UK Economy. Anyone intelligent out there who can advise me on my original problem. Thanks Ansar

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:27:52

Welcome back Ansar. I think you should re-post this thread and this time I have no doubt you will get sensible replies. Glad to see you haven\'t been scared off. x

Simes 2p

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:36:18

Rash, ER did provide you with the best advice, more or less, right at the very beginning. I suggest that you read what she says, ignore the idiocy that followed, and make a new posting with any specific problems you may have. I for one would like to apologise for what has happened today. It was childish, stupid, and rude. I also hope that anyone wishing to make silly comments can refrain themselves next time (Including me)

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:27:03

Hi Silky. Thanks for your support. Here goes again then. I married my husband in the year 1999 in Pakistan under Shariah Law. He came to the UK in 2000. We bought a house together in 2001 for £25000. We have 1 child aged 6. He earns £15K and I earn £8K. The house is now worth £80K. He has walked out on me and is asking for 50% share of the house. Can anyone advise me of my rights and where I stand with the house. The house was bought in joint names with my deposit. Outstanding mortgage is now £18000. He has filed for divorce: reason given was adultry. This has never happened as he is telling lies. Can I sue him for lying. Will I get any financial help from him in paing the mortgage and looking after my child. Thanks Ansar

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:27:03

Hi Simes. Thansk for the encouragement. My concerns are the repayment of the mortgage. Will I get any financial support from him. What will happen to the house? Will i get Spouse Maintenance? thanks Ansar

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:36:18

Rash, although he has applied to divorce you using adultery, it cannot go through unless he has proof. It has always been a very strict interpretation, and as it is classed as being so serious it does need proof, or a confession from you, which he clearly isn\'t going to get. The usual method of divorcing is unreasonable behaviour. Anything seems to be classed as suitable for that. maybe you find it unreasonable that he accuses you of divorce. You cannot sue him for lying. In order to get any financial support, you will need to get the divorce going fist, and then apply for ancillary relief. Nothing can be done until the divorce progresses though. make a new posting at the top of the screen and discuss the divorce side of things. Thanks for coming back.

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:27:03

Thanks Simes. if I dispute the claim for divorce that he is making where do I stand with regard to Ancillary Relief?

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:36:18

Rash, his divorce application will go nowhere without any proof, or confession. I wouldn\'t bother disputing it. It will die on its feet. What you can do is make your own application for divorce tomorrow, citing unreasonable behaviour (UB) as the cause. Once that is in, then make an application for ancillary relief. At the same time, if he is not paying the mortgage, then also make an application for Maintenance Pending Suit, which is an interim temporary maintenance which will last until the full hearing happens, which cannot be until the divorce is half way through. What has he actually done with regard to the divorce?

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:36:18

Rash, I have noticed you did make a new posting. I will move this up there and forget this messy post.

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:34:41

yeah- cos i am sooo bad... mis-placed? why? cos you dont like them? fortunately- you dont set the priorities... i think treating people as humans and equal is a fairly high priority? you obviously dont ... why not round it off with some more \'sun-reader\' diatribe? speed-cameras, pcsos, etc yeah- you learned what exactly- that i wouldnt stand here and let you abuse someone you had never met- and quite wrongly as it happens...? glad you did learn then... maybe you think twice before doing it in future... so- now CO - you are ok- and i am the villan>? you make me sick

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Posted: Wednesday, December 4, 2013 - 10:34:41

my laws? your laws ... you voted- i just enforce them... as the the seeing too- the govenment have beaten you to it.

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Posted: Wednesday, June 21, 2017 - 09:19:00

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